The Fiction

I found this fictional story on Facebook. I used to read them when I was in basic school. I have only read one very small part of it and it reminded me how I first started my first fan fiction.

"Got up, did that, did that and then that and afterwards I did that."

Honestly it's boring as hell and it's get annoying after 2 or three sentences like that. The most embarrassing about this is that I used to write exactly the same and it was horrible. Now me and Kaili joke about my first story slash fan fiction but I guess it's a start (?). 

I'll probably keep reading it though but I have a slight feeling that it will be a One Direction fan fiction but then again the main character moved to Finland BUT THEN AGAIN mine was in Estonia and still McFly appeared in it, so yeah. I will keep on reading and let you know if my gut lied to me or not.

But the thing that disturbs me most about this fiction is that it demands likes. "If you don't give me at least five likes I won't write." Okay, she (probably she) doesn't write it like that but i all sounds the same.

And if you are interested in that story I'm raving here about you can check it out here. And I just realized that I gave her some free publicity. But I have to warn you it's in Estonian, so it's for all you Estonians out there.

I will start posting these andthatswhoiam pictures to bring a little more me into this blog and also you'll find out more about me in these things because I can't write these all and explain them because that's who I am (see what I did there XD)  And also I will say, just for references they all come from this Tumblr: ...and that's who I am.

What I have been up to lately? To be honest, nothing but something. I have been...how do you say this...depressed maybe. No, I don't sit in the corner or cry my eyes out most of the day but when I'm alone I get sad, I don't feel like coming out of the bed at all, and not because I'm tired but I don't feel like facing the world and also school isn't a place where I want to go recently. I have been trying to get over it - I go outside as much as I can, when I'm with people I goof off and smile. I'm really trying to get over that feeling but then again, when I'm by myself, I get depressive again and the part that most annoys me is that I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY THAT I AM!?!?! No, I'm not talking about the general question, just that why I have these mood swings etc.  

I just wanted to write "but the good news is that..." but at the moment I don't have that good news. I'm just trying to get through the day. And, of course, one of the reasons why I haven't written for so long is that I don't feel like doing anything much lately. So, I'm honestly sorry and I'm trying to get better. I PROMISE!

XOXO Kristiina

The Facts

I haven't blogged for a long time, I know, but today I will not write about my oh so "interesting" life. I have watched two or three "50 facts about me" videos and last night I became inspired and thought I will write 50 facts about myself XD At first, it seemed pretty hard at first but last night I wrote about 35 already, so it's not that bad :D

1.  I'm left-handed.

2. I tend to bite my bottom lip ( I did so when I wrote this XD)

3. The thing I like the most about myself (physically) are my lips, so it's very bad that I tend to bite on them because they get quite painful and ugly.
4. I tend to be very self-concious.

5. I'm afraid to drive a car (or any other motorized vechicle).

6. I have changed my last name - I had my mother's maiden name but when she married my dad we both took his.

7. I'm VERY critical about myself and I hate it!

8. My favorite flowers are white roses.

9. I'm rather short-sighted - my left eye is -3.5 and my right one is -3.0.

10. My favorite book is "The Picture of Dorian Grey".

11. I'm not very sporty.

12. When I'm feeling awkward I smile a lot.

13. I'm a very caring person but it tends to back-fire on me. 

14. I used to write a lot when I was younger - like fanfictions and other stories.

15. I have videos about baby me at home.

16. I have a very special bond with my grandfather (mother side) but he passed away 2011.

17. I have suffered under depression.

18. My favorite animal is the tiger.

19. I have a family nose - my mom has the same, my aunt, my uncle and his son and daughter and my grandmother (mother side) had the same too.

20. It hit me hard when my grandmother died (mother side).

21. The furthest I have been is the Netherlands.

22. I don't have a certain time I want to get back to. I live for the present and the future.

23. I'm a Pisces.

24. I like to write things down.

25. I'm unable to keep a rut but I wish I could.

26. I don't know what it means to get butterflies in your belly but I do know what it means when your heart skips a beat ^.^

27. I like to follow step-by-step plans.

28. I have a little brown spot in my left eye and I hate it when people stare at it.

29. I buy most of the things because of the smell - even if I don't really need them.

30. I like to watch videos what beauty gurus make.

31. I'm very stubborn - my mom says I have always been like this, ever since I was small.

32. My high school entrance exam freaked me out more than the final exam in the basic school and in high school.

33. I have a bad hip and because of that I should do some exercises or get injected or go to an operation.

34. I started smoking in November 2012 but I first tried it when I was about 12 or so, and it was very disgusting then.

35. I have only had one boyfriend.

36. I love doing make-up - on others and on myself, so sometimes I doll myself up for no reason. I like to use different techniques and different colors etc.

37. I like summer and that is why I was called Natsumi, because in Japanese it's summer beauty.

38. I tend to misplace things a lot but I always seem to find them.

39. I can never wear the same outfit two days straight but it doesn't bother me when someone else does.

40. I'm not a hat person, I HARDLY wear hats.

41. I sometimes have trouble throwing things away because I feel that I might need them in the future and always they carry memories.

41. I used to be huge McFly fan.

42. I have trouble keeping my clothes neatly in the closet.

43. I hate it when people smoke in the car - I hated when I was a non-smoker and I still despise that.

44. I have a love hate relationship with my hair.

45. I have always wanted a cat.

46. I admire people who have more dreams than they could count.

47. I love smoothies and milkshakes.

48. I have had over 7 nicknames - some are pretty embarrassing.

49. My favorite colors are green and purple and my ex made me a pillow with both of those colors and I love it ^.^

50. I don't like to sunbathe but I sometimes still enjoy laying in the sun or getting some sun into my face.

And to be honest the last 15 were hard to think of XD but I did it and I'm proud of myself ^.^

XOXO Kristiina